Go Diagonal!
Anyway, here's how it looks worn (I'm totally wearing this next time I go to the East Village or SoHo):
And here it is lying flat:
I think the reason the lengthwise thing wasn't working for me was because I am an obsessive control freak when it comes to self-striping things, and I wanted to preserve the texture differences (they were getting lost the other way). Also, I didn't want to waste any of this yarn with Cast ons and Bind offs!

Solution? Go Diagonal!
(The above scarf was knitted with size #13 needles. The yarn was 110 yds. The maker of this yarn is Jacey of Insubordiknit. If you can't score any of that stuff, any self striping yarn will do)

Terms: Make One= Knit into the Front and Back of same stitch
Make Two= Knit into the Front, Back and Front of same stitch

CO 1 st
RS: Make Two: Keeping that one stitch on the left needle, Knit into the front, back, and front again of that one stitch. You now should have 3 sts.
WS: Knit those 3 sts
RS: Make One in the first stitch(K F&B), knit the middle stitch, Make One in the last st (5 sts)
WS: Knit across
RS: Make One in the first st (K F&B), knit to the last stitch, Make One. (7sts)

Continue in this manner, K F&B increasing in the first and last sts of the RS rows, and Knitting the WS rows until the scarf is the Width you want it. I increased until I had 19 sts.

Next RS row: K F&B of first stitch, knit until you reach the last two sts, K2tog.
WS: Knit

Keep doing this until your scarf is the Length you want it. I went for about 50".

Next RS row: K2tog, knit until you reach the last two sts, K2tog
WS: Knit

Continue until you've got 3 sts remaining. The next RS row, Knit these 3 sts tog. Cut yarn and draw through last loop. Weave in and you're done.

A little update: this pattern has been published in the book, Intertwined by Lexi Boeger!